New Year 2013 has arrived, and some questions worth asking are:
- How do I see myself?
- Am I comfortable, content, and at peace with myself?
- Do I have a list of ‘Must Change’ or ‘Should Have Changed Already’ items?
- Do I accept myself as I am?
- Do I love myself unconditionally?
- Do I hear a voice of condemnation ringing in my ears?
I recommend dropping ‘must’ and ‘should’ from your vocabulary, and use words such as ‘could’ and ‘may’. ‘Should’ and ‘Must’ carry a degree of aggression and force against yourself, compulsion to do things, and condemnation when they are not accomplished to the satisfaction of your internal critic. They arise from the Fight Survival Reaction, and is rooted in fear.
A gentler approach identifying what you ‘could’ choose to do, and ‘may’ accomplish does not remove the possible goals. It does reduce the dictator that we so often resist anyway. How many of the past goals you have said you ‘should’ or ‘must’ do have you actually achieved? No one like a bossy boots, even when it is us against ourselves. Developing a warmer, gentler, accepting and loving relationship with yourself could be a fabulous gift you offer yourself in this New Year.